Control your destiny Former Danbury resident offers tips for finding success on the path of life By Erik Ofgang CONTRIBUTING WRITER Updated: 06/08/2009 11:04:17 AM EDT It's a tough job market for college grads, but don't complain to Fran Larkin. He's conquered plenty of challenges in the game of life, and says you can do the same. Larkin, 62, overcame humble origins and forged a long career at IBM. Along the way he got married and raised a family. "We didn't have a lot of money growing up," says Larkin, who went to bed hungry on many a night. "Things were pretty tough. We didn't have central heat until I was a teenager." (There was a kerosene heater in the living room. When it was really cold his mom opened the oven door to warm the kitchen.) Larkin worked his way through college, and went on dozens of interviews before landing at IBM. He made his home in Danbury for 30 years before a recent move to Massachusetts. He also wrote a book called "5 Words And Then Some: How to Succeed in This Big Game We Call Life." In that book, Larkin shares advice for recent college graduates, or anyone starting a new chapter in life. Below are some of his tips, as well as advice from other successful people from Connecticut. Heed their words and despite the economy you'll own a yacht in no time. Well -- maybe not a yacht -- but the point is this: Follow these tips and you'll be the captain of your destiny. 1. DO have passion. Back in college it may have been your sense of fashion that got you invited to all the cool parties, but now that you've graduated it all comes down to passion. So says Ridgefield resident -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Advertisement -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jay Walker, founder of the multibillion-dollar Priceline.com. "The most important factor is passion," says Walker, whose Priceline.com helps people find deep discounts on travel costs. "I was always excited about starting businesses." Before Priceline.com, Walker, 50, founded Walker Digital, a company created to invent business models that use new technologies. Priceline.com was created in the Walker Digital laboratory -- the idea was to allow companies to sell surplus items at a lower cost without driving down the price of existing inventory. DON'T enter a field you're not passionate about. Mom and Dad may always have wanted a doctor in the family, but if the sight of blood makes you queasy, it might be time to tell them you won't be giving them advice on lowering their cholesterol any time soon. "Unfortunately most people look to others for validation," says Walker, but it's passion that should be the guiding factor when choosing a career. "There are successful people in every possible, imaginable field." 2. DO learn to deal with people and network. A big factor in how far you'll go "is your ability to work with other people," says Stew Leonard Jr., president and CEO of Stew Leonard's. "If you can't motivate a group of people, the chances are you won't be successful." Douglas Mellinger, co-founder of Foundation Source, a leading provider of support services for private foundations, says it's good to become involved with clubs, organizations and nonprofits. "It's an opportunity to meet people outside of their business environment in a place where they're really thinking and talking about the future," he says. DON'T sit at home expecting to get hired. "Just sitting back on your computer answering monster.com job postings" probably won't land you a job, adds Mellinger. "I think you have to take it into your own hands." 3. DO overcome failures. "Expect to fail," says Walker. "Not succeeding is part of the process." So whether you're a starving musician, an aspiring actor, or would-be business person, you have to learn to accept your failures, pick yourself off the pavement and keep going. "If you get bummed out every time you get out, you're not going to be a baseball player," adds Walker. DON'T give up. Mellinger says a great thing about American culture is that it doesn't stigmatize failure, and that people who have failed in the past still have the opportunity to succeed. "It's actually a badge of honor as an entrepreneur to have a failure," says Mellinger. 4. DO think outside the box. Leonard says a big part of success is the ability to get things done regardless of the obstacles. Sometimes your ideas come grinding to a halt, but successful people "have a way of hitting that road block, taking a step backwards, brainstorming and thinking there may be a way around the roadblock." DON'T listen to naysayers. Every single day Leonard says he is confronted by people who tell him his plans are impossible and can't be done. "That's where tenacity comes in," he says. "You have to learn that the word 'no' means 'maybe'." 5. DO succeed even in these tough economic times. Larkin was able to overcome his humble origins by employing his five favorite pieces of advice. What are they? "Hard work, enthusiasm, a positive attitude, perseverance and fun in everything you do. I overcame a lot by applying these five words to everything I did, and so can you," he says. DON'T just work. Larkin says it's important not to overdo it. "Don't work so much that you neglect your family and friends. Work to live, not live to work. Always remember there is no record of anyone laying in their death bed saying I should have spent more time at the office," he says. So cut out this story, hang it on your bedroom wall and refer to it three times a day as though it were a bible, and you'll be on the right track to success. Congratulations and good luck! n Though Larkin lived in Danbury from 1978 to 2008, he currently resides in Newburyport, Mass. His book can be ordered from Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com. He's happy to speak on his principles for success before school and community groups, at no charge. Print Email Font ResizeReturn to Top -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- POST YOUR COMMENTS: