Remember: we train people how to treat us, and it’s up to us totrain Cry Babies that their crying will not detract from effective communication at work.
If you need to have a conversation with someone at work who you know uses crying as a defense/distraction mechanism, and you don’t want that crying to derail your communication efforts, use this simple 3-step process:
Click here to see our keynote/workshop on Dealing with Difficult People
1) Have your tools ready.
When dealing with a Cry-Baby, make sure you have two tools at hand:
1-A box of tissues-that will soak up the tears
2-A glass/bottle of water-the reason we give people water when they’re crying/upset is because the action of lifting your chin up (required to drink) stops the average person from crying, and helps calm out-of-control emotions. It’s about the head tilting back—not the hydration.
2) Have an empowering closed-ended question prepared.
Empowering questions force other people to choose how they are going to behave. Closed-ended questions require a one-word answer, and discourage further communication.
-Perfect empowering closed-ended question for a Cry-Baby: “I can see you’re upset. Would you like to take a minute or two to regain your composure, or are you ready to continue now?”
3) Use the broken record.
Remember to stay on message. Don’t let a Cry-Baby steer you off track.
Click here to see our keynote/workshop on Dealing with Difficult People
To put it all together, if you’re having one of “those talks” with a Cry-Baby, and they begin to cry, put your shoulders back, chest out, keep your head straight (don’t tilt your head to the side), and say this:
“I can see you’re upset.” Grab the box of tissues and hand it to the CB. “Would you like to take a minute or two to regain your composure, or are you ready to continue now?” Now hand them the water.
Cry Baby: “This is just really hard for me, I mean my cat just died, my boyfriend dumped me, and now you’re yelling at me.”
You: “I can see you’re upset. Would you like to take a minute or two to regain your composure, or are you ready to continue now?”(Broken Record time)
Cry Baby: “Why are you being so mean?”
You: “Would you like to take a minute or two to regain your composure, or are you ready to continue now?”
Keep repeating the process until you communicate whatever it is you want to communicate to the Cry Baby. The key is not to allow them to throw you off message. If you stick to your guns and stay on message, the Cry Baby will understand that this behavior doesn’t work with you.
Click here to see our keynote/workshop on Dealing with Difficult People
