The face of bullying has changed, and the consequences of this change are proving deadly. In the “old days” a bully might have been waiting around the corner in the school hallway to give a small push or shove to assert his or her power, but it most often ended there. With the advent of the computer, cell phone and social media sites, bullies have more avenues to assert their power. These avenues can be insidious as some of them are anonymous, and bullies can wield power and encourage a following among other kids. The victim in this case is faced with a barrage of assaults from many directions and increasing numbers of kids jumping on the bandwagon.
These assaults can be so devastating to the emotional health of the child that there has been an increase in suicides among victims. The victims of these attacks are afraid to report the incidents for fear of repercussions. They often happen off of school grounds and schools are at a loss of how to handle it.
It is up to the parents of both the bully and the victim to become aware of their child’s activities. We are also seeing that intervention among bystanders who witness a bullying incident is almost non-existent leaving the victim alone and devastated by these attacks. Here are some tips for parents and educators to put an end to this deadly problem.
1- Monitor the activities of children while they are online. Kids should be allowed to have some privacy when communicating with their friends, but if a child knows that a parent will be checking their posts periodically this could cut down on the use of the computer to wield attacks. It would seem unlikely that a child would threaten and bully another child if they knew their parent had access to their posts.
2- Cell phone use by a child is a privilege given by parents. These parents must also find a way to monitor the quality of the text messages that are being sent. It is possible for a child to delete these messages, but then it is up to the parent to remove text messaging from their plan or to take the phone away.
3- Computers and laptops should only be placed in family rooms and not in a child’s bedroom. The more privacy that is given to a child on a computer, the more likely they will explore things and say things that they shouldn’t. Let your kids enjoy the computer and all of the learning potential it affords, but this can and should be done in the main area of the house.
4- Parents need to learn the current lingo that kids are using. Often, kids will type lingo to their friends as their parents walk by which helps them all to clam up. An example of this is POS (parent over shoulder). It is important to stay up to date with the new terminology that is being used.
5- Check in with your child. This is the most important point of all. All too often we hear parents exclaim that they had no idea that their child was a bully or being bullied. This is a product of families being fragmented due to hectic work schedules. Family meal time has changed and parents and kids aren’t talking as much. If a child seems withdrawn and depressed find out why. If a child is aggressive at home, check into this as this aggression may be showing up in school. Schools also have the option to offer programs on diversity, tolerance and bullying.
The problem of cyber bullying is increasing and more needs to be done to stop it and prevent the suicides that are occurring due to this form of psychological terror. Educators and parents need to intervene and help needs to be offered to both the bully and the victim. No parent ever wants to hear the dreaded words that their child is a bully, but a parent that buries their head in the sand does not help the situation in any way. It is time to take a stand on this deadly issue and get involved early to prevent more teen suicides due to bullying.
