Everyone has ended up at a party or event or conference physically or psychologically trapped by some self-absorbed character who drones on endlessly about topics for which you could care less. Or worse, the loudmouth, center-of-the-universe who’s rude, crude and frequently full of it. With respect to social protocol, sometimes there’s no escape without insulting your boss, co-workers, partner or family.

Every so often, in fact more often than you think, these types will unknowingly reveal information that is the key to the missing link to your deepest desires. The challenge is to engage in deep active listening like sifting through the useless muck to capture the gold nugget. And you already know the feeling when you’ve achieved something in which you felt that all the hard work and sacrifice was worth it.

This unique information is embedded in the mindless chatter that spews from this ilk, often spelled out clearly if you’re engaged in deep active listening. It’s counter-intuitive but you mustn’t interrupt because any break in their rhythm and train of thought risks losing that opportunity which may be a mere moment away. Excruciating as it might sound, continue to listen to their drivel. The golden nugget occurs as quickly as in a blink of an eye, perhaps a word, a murmur, an incongruous reference, but always a genuine fact shrouded in a sea of nonsensical verbiage.

Now you’re wondering whether this opportunity happens each and every time some blabbermouth goes on an incessant solo rampage. To avoid wasting your time, this is when you rely on your intuition. A helpful hint as to whether you should hang or bail is if this person continually throws out specific references.  If so you can use to connect the dots, otherwise it’s nothing more than trying to nail mush to the wall.

A personal example is when I attended a pre-conference reception several years ago and engaged in amiable chit-chat with a dull corporate professional. We had very little in common but it would have been rude to suddenly cut the conversation short. However during the routine conversation he made a reference to a type of organization which I thought may exist but had the aura of an ultra secret society. I made a note and later that evening I did an on-line search.

I reviewed their website which initially seemed intimidating. Then I clicked membership requirements. All the candidate required was a genuine interest in the field or related fields. Additionally, the annual membership fee was astoundingly affordable. I joined and eventually attended their conferences attended by dynamic, friendly people with common interests. Being a member opened doors elsewhere enabling me to get on the short list, first consideration, and enhanced credibility all because of deep active listening and immediate follow-up. I never met this chap again. I emailed him but the message bounced back because he had moved on to another company. It was a one-time opportunity.

Think of these opportunities as open barn doors which are invisible to the impatient or voluntary deaf, visible and open for the briefest of moments, a portal to fascinating professional subcultures whose existence is invisible to closed minds.

Additionally, this information is currency. It may be useless to you yet invaluable to someone else.  Share it judiciously to snag new business, solidify relationships, secure new introductions, and establish yourself as an influencer and insider that boosts your credibility.

 

Copyright Indo-Brazilian Associates LLC 2014. All rights reserved.

Indo-Brazilian Associates LLC is a NYC-based global advisory service and think tank with connections at the highest levels. International business is increasingly complex featuring a highly mobile professional class in all corners of the globe. We provide you the tools to successfully negotiate cross-culturally in your global business endeavors. Tell us about your challenges. We'll get you on the "Short List".

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